Seinfeld Season 7 Episode guide, Soup Nazi, Friars Club Roast New York

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SEASON 7

The Engagement

Jerry and George rethink their relationships with women. George decides to get back together with Susan a former girlfriend that worked at NBC. After much convincing she agrees to be engaged to George. George now feels trapped in his relationship with Susan as if he already is married. After George is trapped in a relationship with a woman Jerry breaks up with his girlfriend. Elaine has a problem with a barking dog which Kramer and Newman solve via dognapping.

The Postponement

George talks Susan into postponing the wedding date. Elaine becomes jealous over George's impending wedding as George is the first of the fabulous four to be engaged. Elaine talks with a rabbi about this, who promises secrecy but tells everyone about Elaine's problem. Kramer begins to worry about the effect his involvment could have on his permanent record. Kramer and Jerry plan to see Plan 9 From Outer Space (the worst movie ever made, so bad its funny) but Kramer spills hot coffee all over himself and his lawyer Jackie Chiles says that he has a valid case against the coffee house.

The Maestro

George feels pressure from his relationship with Susan as he attempts to help out a security guard who work's at a store owned by Susan's uncle. George thinks that a security guard should be able to sit down on the job. Ultimately the guard gets a chair and is asleep during a robbery of the store. Elaine dates someone who likes to be called maestro. Kramer follows through on his lawsuit against the coffee house that gave him hot coffee in the previous episode. As a result of the lawsuit Kramer can get free coffee at coffee houses all over the world but soon discovers that caffeine causes him to become hyper. Jerry researches buying a house in Tuscany after Maestro comments on the place.

The Wink

George is put in charge of a birthday card for the yankees. After getting grapefruit in his eye he begins to wink at the most inopportune times. He unwillingly agrees to have Kramer take the card which ultimately winds up in the hands of a sick child in the hospital. Kramer attempts to get the card back by promosing the boy that Paul O'Neil will hit two homeruns in a game for the boy. Paul hits one homerun and rounds all the bases for what appears to be an inside the park homerun which is later ruled a triple (or is it double) and a throwing error. The boy says the second time was not a homerun. Kramer struggles with the boy and finally gets the card which is framed. George presents the card at work, and one of his coworkers tells him that he has been screwed again as the card is now under glass and it is missing the coworkers name. Elaine agrees to a blind date with a man from her call up wake up service.

The Hot Tub

George picks up a unique way of speaking after spending lots of time with some visiting out of town baseball officials. To this group everyone is either a bastard, or a son of a bitch. George starts using these terms at work and runs into difficulties. Kramer gets a hot tub. Elaine has an immigrant runner as a houseguest and worries that he might oversleep so she lets him stay at Jerry's. Jerry sets his alarm clock, but Kramer shorts out the power with his hottub so the runner wakes up late for the big race.

The Soup Nazi

A new soup restaurant opens around the corner and it seems no one can get enough of the soup. The owner of the restaurant is a bit eccentric and insists that customers follow a very stringent ordering procedure. He is known as the soup nazi. One day Jerry and his girlfriend go to purchase some soup. After his girlfriend makes a mistake during the ordering, Jerry pretends he does not know her so that he may purchase some more soup. Elaine latter makes a similar mistake and is outraged. Elaine prepares to move a piece of furniture into her apartment but it is quickly stolen but two "hoods" after Kramer who was supposed to watch the piece decides to give it up rather than fight for it. Kramer talks with the Soup Nazi and the Soup Nazi agrees to give a piece of furniture to Kramer so that he may give it to his friend whose furniture was stolen. Elaine is delighted to receive the furniture as a gift and soon discovers its source, the Soup Nazi. After further examination of the furniture she discovers recipes for all of the famous soups that everyone so enjoys. She arrives at the Soup Nazi's restaurant and reads the recipes aloud and finishes by quoting the Soup Nazi and stating there will be "No more soup for you, Next.!"

The Secret Code

George tries to keep his ATM code a secret. Jerry's foot falls asleep which gets him in trouble with a one legged man who thinks Jerry was poking fun of him. Elaine becomes interested in someone that can't remember her.

The Pool Guy

Jerry has trouble with an annoying pool guy that more than anything just wants to hang out and be his friend. Kramer learns that his phone number is very close to the phone number of moviefone a service used to give movie times and descriptions. In response Kramer pretends to be moviefone whenever anyone calls him by mistake. George calls and tries to ask for info about a movie. Kramer replies in computerized fashion with press 1 for this or 2 for that. Then he throws out possibilities that may have been guessed including Brown Eyed Girl and Agent Zero. Kramer than says "Why don't you just tell me the name of the movie.?" George then figures out that he has been talking to Kramer who was pretending to be moviefone. George has troubles when his girlfriend Susan starts to hang out with Elaine. George than attempts to avoid the coffee shop when Susan, Elaine, and Jerry are there. As he sees it the world of relationship George will clash with the world of independent George. A George dividied against itself can not stand.

18* The Sponge

Elaine discovers that her favorite birth control method "the sponge" is going to be discontinued so she travels the city in search of all the sponges she can find. At first her search proves unsucessful but then she finds the mother load at one drug store and buys a whole closet full of sponges. She rations their use and requires her dates to prove they are spongeworthy before sleeping with them. One date agrees to shave his shadeburns after going over his case as a man who is spongworthy which included his health and their repoire Kramer walks in an AIDS walkathon but refuses to wear the ribbon which infuriates everyone at the walk. George finds that he can not keep anything from his girlfriend Susan including things "in the vault" which Jerry has shared with him. This gets him into trouble.

The Gum

Kramer is instrumental in the re-opening of an old movie theater. Kramer befriends one of George's childhood pals, Lloyd who recently suffered from a nervous breakdown. Kramer likes the gum that Lloyd chews and insists that everyone try it. George's car which he believes was owned by John Voight catches fire and burns up.

5* The Rye

George is invited over to a girlfriends parents house and brings a marble rye bread for them as a gift. In addition his father and mother accompany him and create quite a stir. George accidentally takes the bread he intended as a gift with him when he leaves. Jerry and George plan to reaquire a Rye Bread after George's parents hold onto the original. Kramer agrees to give the parents of George's girlfriend a carriage ride pulled by his trusty horse Rusty. As Jerry goes down to the bakery to purchase a Rye Bread he discovers the last one has been sold. He offers the old lady that purchased it far more than she paid but she refuses. Jerry then takes the bread and runs down the street with bread in hand after calling the lady an old bag. Kramer's horse has some gas problems after eating all of the beefy food Kramer fed to him because he overbought. The horse ride is cut short because of the smell and the family arrives back just as Jerry attempts to toss the bread up to George who waits inside the house for the bread. After many tosses it is finally decided to use a fishing rod to reel in the bread. After a joyful sigh of relief, George discovers his girlfriend and their family staring at him in disbelief.

The Caddy

George leaves his car parked outside Yankee stadium all the time so that his boss thinks he is putting in long hours. George travels far away from work and has to have Jerry go to Yankee stadium to remove old fliers and other incriminating evidence which indicates that car has just set there. George's boss Yankee manager Steinbrenner assumes George is dead and tells his parents that he his dead. Kramer begins to play golf and trusts his caddy for everything. Elaine's old friend Sue Ellen does not wear a bra and as a hint Elaine gives her a bra. Sue Ellen then wears the bra as a top which causes Kramer to wreck because he was destracted by her. Kramer has a lawsuit againt Sue Ellen after lawyer Jackie Chiles discovers that Sue Ellen is heiress to the O-Henry chocolate bar fortune. The case is going well until Kramer insists that his lawyer ask Sue Ellen to try on the bra. The bra doesen't fit so they must acquit. Jerry attempts to testify during the trial but ruins things for Kramer and his lawsuit but does get a date with Sue Ellen.

The Seven

Elaine discovers a bike that she wants hanging on a wall. She hurts her neck and agrees to give the bike to anyone that can help alleviate the pain in her neck.Kramer helps Elaine with her neck problems and then wants the bike. Kramer agrees to keep a running tab of everything he takes from Jerry. Jerry notices that his girlfriend always seems to be wearing the same dress whenever they go out. George tells his girlfriend Susan that he wants to name their child Seven. George becomes furious when Susan's cousin decides to call her child Seven instead. George pleads with her to use another name as he wants the name exclusively for his child.

The Cadillac (1)

Jerry travels to Florida to give his parents a Cadillac as a surprise gift. Elaine and Krames learn how much money Jerry makes. Elaine is now interested in Jerry. George learns that one of Elaine's friends knows actress Marisa Tomei. Even as Elaine's friend is in the hospital he pesters Elaine to arrange for a meeting with Marisa Tomei for a cup of coffee. George begins to rethink his engagement plans when the possiblity of being with the possiblity of being with Marisa Tomei looms over the horizon. The cable guy tries to meet with Kramer about his illegal cable hookup. Kramer gives him the slip and lets him experience first hand what all the waiting is like when he had to wait on the cable guy to install his cable in the past. Jack Klompus (astronaught pen guy) accuses Morty Seinfeld of embezzelling condo funds to pay for his cadillac.

The Cadillac (2)

Kramer continues to give the cable guy the runaround. Finally the cable guy admits that they should keep to the times they have scheduled to install things and if they can't they should call. This in essence was a victory for Kramer. Elaine gets George the phone number for Marisa Tomei and tells Jerry that she wants to join him in Florida. George schemes with Elaine to come up with a cover story to allow him to rendevous with Marisa Tomei. George decides the story they will use will invlove his alias Art Vandaley. Art is an importer exporter that George is spending time with according to the story. Susan questions things a bit and Elaine and George's stories do not jive as to what exactly Art imports and exports. Susan, George's fiancee suspects that George is having an affair with Elaine. George finally meets Marisa Tomei and things are going great until George reveals that he is engaged. Then he gets punched. A meeting of the condo home owners association in Florida convenes to dermine if Jerry's dad stole money to pay for his cadillac. The vote for and against him is pretty evenly split. Only one woman can decide the matter, the Rye Bread woman whom Jerry stole a Rye bread from in the past. At first she did not recognize Jerry, but finally she does. She replays in her mind that he took the bread from her and called her an old bag. That settles that, and Jerry's dad is no longer president of the Condo owners association.

The Shower Head

Elaine has to get a physical for an upcoming trip with her boss Peterman to Africa. She tests positive for opium because she eats poppy seeds. Peterman fires Elaine because of she tested positive for opium. New low water flow shower heads are being installed in Jerry's apartment to conserve water. Jerry hates the new showerheads and plots with Newman to obtain some other shower heads on the black market. Jerry's parents tell Georges parents the Costanzas that there is no room for them in Florida and that they wouldn't be wanted there. As a result the Costanza's move to Florida much to George's delight who is happy to see his parents farther away from where he lives.

The Doll

George's girlfriend has a doll that greatly resembles George's mother Estelle. Jerry caries a package home for one of Susan's friends and acciendally breaks some barbeque sauce he was planning to use in one of his standup shows. George's dad Frank turns George's room into a pool room and plays pool in his underwear with Kramer and the Maestro (introduced in previous episode).

The Friars Club

Jerry tries to get into the prestigious Friars club and borrows a jacket. During a performance of gypsies which he George, and Susan attend the jacket is thrown into the crowd and lost. Jerry assumes the gypsies took it and are not giving it back. Jerry and Kramer jump one of the gypsies and get his jacket. The notice that the crest on the jacket is not the same as the one on Jerry's and now the gypsies are after them. To save time for all that he must do Kramer resorts to using Leonardo Da Vinci style sleeping which entails 30 minutes sleep every 4 or 5 hours. As a result Kramer falls asleep at the most inopportune time and awakes in the Hudson river on one occasion. Peterman hires a deaf employee and Elaine thinks he is just faking whenver work is being given out so that Peterman will give it to Elaine rather than try to explain it to someone who can't hear. She tests this theory by telling the deaf man that she loves him. He doesen't respond but she still has her suspicious. Peterman overhears the conversation and arranges for the two of them to go out. Elaine tries on his hearing aid to find out if he is really deaf and discovers that indeed he is as the hearing aid works most impressively.

The Wig Master

George and Kramer try to save money by parking their cars in a cheap lot. George discovers that his car has been used by a hooker after finding a used condom in the car. George contemplates telling Susan about the condom and seeing if it can get him out of the planned marriage. George has a wigmaster from a touring company as a houseguest.

The Calzone

Kramer starts to enjoy wearing warm clothes straight from the dryer. He almost gets into trouble when he runs out of quarters for the laundrymat. Kramer decides to try warming his clothes in an oven instead. George gains great powers over his boss Steinbrenner after he shares an eggplant calzone with him. Now Steinbrenner won't make any major moves without consulting George. Jerry tells Elaine that he thinks her boyfriend has been dating her without ever asking her out officially. This would be to circumvent a great cornerstone of the dating game.

The Bottle Deposit (1)

George's boss gives him an important project to complete, but George does not hear the details. Elaine's boss Peterman has Elaine bid on a set of golf clubs owned by John F Kennedy. She is told to bid no more than $10,000 but when she finds she is being outbid by Sue Ellen (O'Henry Chocolate bar girl that wore no bra) she just keeps bidding and bidding. She wins and leaves the clubs in Jerry's car. Jerry takes his car to a mechanic that is fanatical about taking care of cars. The mechanic finds Jerry has mistreated the car and he takes the car himself including the golf clubs. Kramer and Newman scheme to take cans and bottles to Michigan where they can get a far higher amount than in New York. They resort to even drinking cans just so they can have them to take with them. The plan seems to be missing something until Newman decides that they can use his mailtruck to carry the cans.

The Bottle Deposit (2)

George's boss is surprised by the job George did on the project he assigned him but wonders just how he did it and just exactly what he did. A detective thinks that he has found Jerry's stolen car but it turns out to not be his car. Jerry receives a call from the mechanic in his car and knows that his car is still out there. Kramer spots the car in Ohio. Kramer throws Newman out of the mailtruck so that he can go faster in pursuit of Jerry's car. He ultimately throws out all of the cans, bottles, and even mail bags from the mailtruck so he can go faster. Kramer pulls up close to Jerry's car and then Kennedy's golf clubs and golf bag are thrown at him to allow for an escape. Kramer picks up the clubs and bag and Elaine gives them to her boss Peterman. Rather than think the clubs were damaged by Elaine, he assumes that Kennedy just had a monster temper. Steinbrenner the manager of the Yankees finally confronts George about his work and his him commited. Newman wanders the country side and finds a small farm house and is welcomed into the family in essence. He especially likes the farmer's daughter.

The Wait Out

Kramer starts wearing pants that are much too tight and has difficulty getting them off when he needs to. George makes a comment to a married couple about how long they will last. Jerry and Elaine wait for what they believe is the breakup to follow as the plan to move on on the couple as new possible lovers for themselves. George feels bad about the comment he made to the married couple, but Jerry and Elaine try to convince George to not stop the breakup that they believe is coming. Susan hears of George's remark to the married couple and tells George that she has to think about things between them. George thinks this is his way out of marriage.

The Invitations

The date of George's marriage to Susan grows nearer and George keeps contemplating ways to get out of it. Elaine suggests that he take up smoking as it always is a turn off. Kramer suggests a pre-nuptial agreement so she may think she can't trust you. George picks out cheap invitations for the wedding. Susan licks them and gets sick. She dies in the hospital and George at least is free from the worries of marriage. Jerry ponders a life without his great single friend George and gets hit by a car but is saved by his girlfriend Jennie. Jerry thinks he may be in love with her and becomes engaged to her but then has second thoughts. Kramer hears of a bank's offer to pay $100 if their tellers don't say hello to you. Kramer gets into an argument over rather or not hey is the same as hello. With Susan out of the way George tries to focus more on his true desire actress Marisa Tomei.